Here’s what Norton’s kids online safety expert wants every Kiwi parent to know about protecting their children
Picture this: you hand over that shiny new phone to your 12-year-old, thinking you’ve ticked another parenting milestone box. Six months later, you’re lying awake, wondering if you’ve accidentally unleashed a digital monster into your previously peaceful home.
If this sounds painfully familiar, you’re definitely not alone. We sat down with Mark Gorrie, Managing Director APAC for Norton (and fellow parent navigating these same digital waters), to get the real story about what’s happening in our kids’ online world. Let’s have an honest chat – because spoiler alert: it’s nothing like the internet we grew up with.
Read more: How to Prepare Your Child for Starting School in New Zealand: A Complete Parent’s Guide
The Numbers That’ll Make You Think
Here’s something that might knock you sideways: when we were kids, the average Kiwi got their first mobile phone at 24. Today’s children? They’re getting theirs at 12. That’s not a generational gap – that’s a generational overhaul.
And with that phone comes everything else. One in eight Kiwi parents have discovered their child has been cyberbullied. Here’s the real kicker, though – nearly half the time, it’s not some faceless internet troll. It’s their mate from school. The kid who shares their lunchbox treats.
Mark Gorrie from Norton (he’s also a dad of two, so he gets the daily juggle) puts it perfectly: “Bullying can now follow kids home and continue around the clock.” Gone are the days when switching off the computer meant you were safe.
“Children may not want to tell their parents because they’re afraid they’ll lose their internet privileges.”
Mark Gorrie
When the Playground Never Closes
Remember when school bullying stayed at school? Those days are officially extinct. Today’s cyberbullying happens on Snapchat and Instagram mostly, but it’s everywhere – Facebook, TikTok, even plain old text messages.
Here’s what’s particularly heartbreaking: kids often don’t want to tell parents because they’re terrified of losing their phone privileges. So they suffer in silence whilst we’re completely oblivious, thinking everything’s fine because they’re not complaining.
But here’s some hope… nearly half of parents actually knew something was wrong before their child said anything. You’re probably picking up on those subtle signs: withdrawal from activities they used to love, acting weird about their devices, emotional meltdowns after screen time.
If it happens to your family, here’s your action plan:
- Take screenshots of everything (you’ll need evidence)
- Use the platform’s tools to block and report
- Tell the school if classmates are involved
- Contact Netsafe or police for serious cases
- Most importantly, rebuild their confidence through offline friendships and activities they enjoy
Read more: How to Help Your Kids Navigate the Wild World of Social Media
Your Child’s New Best Friend Might Be a Robot
This one’s properly modern and slightly unsettling: nearly a quarter of Kiwi kids are turning to AI chatbots for emotional support and companionship. Your child might be having deeper conversations with a computer programme than they are with you.
Now, before you panic completely, it’s not necessarily harmful. But these digital friends can give dodgy advice, encourage risky behaviour, and create false connections that might stop kids building real friendships.
The concerning bit? Only 41% of parents have talked to their kids about AI risks like deepfakes or misinformation. We’re having conversations about stranger danger whilst our kids are chatting to artificial intelligence about their feelings.
Meet Your Child: The Digital Escape Artist
Think your parental controls are foolproof? Your tech-savvy offspring would like a word. One in five parents discovered their child had bypassed the controls and actually admitted to it. Another third found out their child had sneakily worked around restrictions without saying anything.
What are they getting up to once they’ve cracked your digital locks? Mostly staying up too late scrolling (31% of parents caught this), but also accessing blocked websites, sharing personal information with strangers, watching content they shouldn’t, and occasionally bullying others online.
The most common parenting slip-ups:
- Relying on settings without having regular conversations
- Forgetting to update privacy controls as new apps appear
- Underestimating AI-related risks
It’s a proper reality check that kids are often several steps ahead of us when it comes to working out how technology actually functions.
What Actually Works
Right, enough scary stuff. What can busy parents actually do without becoming tech wizards overnight?
Three things you can sort today:
- Turn on parental controls – use what’s built into your devices or grab trusted software like Norton Family
- Check privacy settings regularly – app permissions change more often than your teenager’s mood
- Create phone-free zones – bedrooms and dinner tables are brilliant places to start
The secret ingredient? Get your kids involved in setting this up. Don’t spring it on them like some sort of digital punishment. Show them how privacy settings work, explain why these boundaries exist, and agree on rules together.
As Mark says: “Transparency builds trust – and makes compliance more likely.”
The Warning Signs Something’s Not Right
Kids often won’t tell you straight away if they’re being bullied or targeted online. Keep an eye out for these changes:
- Suddenly avoiding friends or activities they used to love
- Acting secretive with their devices or hiding screens
- Emotional outbursts during or after using technology
- Deleting social media accounts or creating multiple profiles
- Changes in device use (either constantly scrolling or avoiding devices completely)
Trust those parental instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.
The Conversation That Never Actually Ends
Here’s what the research really hammered home: the best protection isn’t some fancy filtering system – it’s talking to your kids. Properly talking, not lecturing.
For younger kids: Keep it simple. Be kind online, don’t share personal information, come tell Mum or Dad if something feels wrong.
Intermediate age: Time for the real talk about bullying realities, peer pressure, and the fact that not everyone online is who they say they are.
Teenagers: Proper two-way conversations about digital footprints, scams, AI misinformation, and privacy management. Use examples from the news to make it relatable.
At every stage, you need to walk the walk. Put your own phone down during family time, avoid doomscrolling in front of them, and show genuine interest in what they’re doing online.
The Future Stuff That’s Actually Already Here
The challenges we’re dealing with now are preparing us for even trickier territory. AI-powered grooming where predators can mimic teenagers convincingly. Deepfake technology making it nearly impossible to tell what’s real (Norton’s already developing tools to spot this). More sophisticated AI companions that could create unhealthy emotional dependencies.
There’s also location tracking to worry about. Many apps share location data without kids realising it, and augmented reality gaming is blurring the lines between real and virtual spaces even more.
Schools Need to Step Up Too
We shouldn’t be doing this alone. Schools and communities need to treat online safety like any other life skill. Finland’s been including media literacy in their curriculum since 2014. Kids there learn early how to spot misinformation and engage respectfully online.
Australia is bringing in an under-16 social media ban this December. But whilst government safeguards help, we can’t wait around for laws to catch up with reality. The study shows 30% of Kiwi parents already regularly check their child’s apps and settings, but that leaves most of us who could be doing more.
Read more: NZ Mums Reveal Their Favourite “Slow TV” Shows for Kids
Sharing Devices Without Sharing Problems
If tablets and laptops get passed around your house like hot potatoes, here’s your survival guide:
- Create separate user profiles for everyone
- Use kid-friendly modes on everything (restricted browsers, “Kids” modes on streaming platforms)
- Always log out when you’re finished
- Keep your work files, adult content, and private messages completely separate from what kids can access
Tools like Norton Family become especially valuable here because you can monitor search terms and keep content age-appropriate across all shared devices.
What This All Actually Means
Look, nobody expects you to become the perfect digital parent overnight. The goal isn’t perfection – it’s staying engaged and keeping those conversations flowing.
Technology will keep evolving faster than we can learn it, new platforms will pop up monthly, and risks will keep shifting. But one thing stays constant: kids need to know they can talk to you about anything they encounter online without losing their privileges or facing judgment.
Because here’s the uncomfortable truth – the strongest protection you can build around your family isn’t sophisticated software. It’s trust, regular chats, and genuine curiosity about their digital world. Even when it feels like learning a new language every few months.
The alternative is leaving them to navigate this incredibly complex landscape alone. And that’s simply not an option for any of us, is it?
Mark’s golden rule? “Stay engaged and keep talking. The most effective safeguard isn’t a setting or a filter but a consistent, open conversation where your child knows they can talk to you about anything they see or experience online without fear of judgment.”
Pretty sound advice for parenting in general, really.
If you’re worried about your child’s online experiences or want more specific advice, Netsafe (netsafe.org.nz) is New Zealand’s go-to resource for online safety support , and it’s completely free.
Want to read Norton’s full Cyber Safety Insights Report: Connected Kids? Check it out here.
