Our resident sleep expert, Amy Wallace of Little Dreamers lays out what “sleeping through the night” actually means for infants and toddlers.
When discussing “sleeping through the night” for infants and toddlers, it’s important to recognise that this term can have different meanings for different families. For some, it may mean a 6-8 hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep, while for others it’s when their baby sleeps for a full 11-12 hours without waking to feed. According to most sleep research, both definitions are valid, depending on the child’s developmental stage and individual needs.
Newborns typically wake often for feeding, comfort and support, and true “sleeping through the night” usually doesn’t happen until babies are well-established on solid foods and getting enough calories during the day. Most babies will start sleeping longer stretches by around 4 to 6 months, but their sleep patterns can still vary, with some babies continuing to wake for feeding or comfort for months to come.
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“Sleeping through the night” –– what does it actually mean?
Why Does Society Emphasise Sleeping Through the Night?
Society often places a significant emphasis on babies sleeping through the night, as it is unfortunately often seen as a milestone of both good parenting and healthy development – neither of which is true! This pressure can cause stress for parents, especially when their baby’s sleep doesn’t match the expectations of friends, family, or social norms.
However, research shows that night waking is normal and varies greatly from baby to baby. Fragmented night sleep is common in infants and is influenced by many factors, such as developmental changes, growth spurts and parental responses to waking. Babies are biologically programmed to wake during the night, especially in the first year, as their sleep cycles mature and they learn to self-settle back to sleep.
When Is It Realistic to Expect a Baby to Sleep Through the Night?
Expecting a baby to sleep through the night from a very young age can be unrealistic and something that we openly discuss and often reassure our clients about. A child’s ability to sleep through the night depends on various factors, including their daily intake of milk and solids, sleep environment, how they settle to sleep (reliance on an association) and ability to self-settle. Babies may start sleeping longer stretches around 4-6 months of age, but for some, waking once or twice during the night remains normal until they are well-established on 2-3 solid meals a day, in addition to 3-5 good milk feeds.
How parents and caregivers respond to night wake-ups also plays a significant role in how long babies continue to wake through the night. Establishing consistent routines and responding to babies in a way that promotes independent sleep can help reduce the frequency of night waking, but there is no “quick fix.” Even once a baby starts sleeping longer stretches, things like illness, teething, or developmental changes can still cause occasional wake-ups, and it’s important that parents are still responsive and adapt their support to suit the needs of their child.
The Importance of Consistency and Routine
Routines play a critical role in helping babies and toddlers develop healthy sleep habits. By having a predictable routine, little ones feel secure and are more likely to settle into longer stretches of sleep. A relaxing pre-sleep routine might include activities like bathing, reading, or quiet play, which signal to your child that it’s time to wind down and support their readiness for sleep.
Similarly, the way you respond to your baby’s night waking can impact their ability to sleep through the night. Allowing a child some space to attempt to resettle themselves can sometimes make all the difference. If we rush in and do the settling for them, this may create a reliance on that sleep aid or physical support each time they stir overnight.
Factors You Can Control to Promote Better Sleep
Although some sleep disruptions are unavoidable, there are certain factors you can control to encourage longer stretches of sleep for your baby:
- Adequate Daytime Calories: Ensuring your baby receives enough calories and nutrients from milk and/or solids throughout the day can help reduce nighttime waking. Babies typically need 2-3 solid meals a day and consistent milk feeds before they’re able to sleep for longer periods without needing a feed.
- Balanced Daytime Sleep: Both too much and too little sleep during the day can affect nighttime sleep. Having a good routine during the day which supports night sleep is key.
- Sleep Associations: If your baby associates certain cues with sleep, like a comforter or white noise, maintaining these associations throughout the night can help them self-settle after waking.
- Responding vs. Reacting: Giving your baby a moment to resettle before responding can help them learn to sleep independently.
Focusing on What Works for Your Family
While research gives us valuable insights into baby sleep patterns, focusing on what works for your family is the most important thing. Sleep is highly individualised, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Every baby has different needs, and every family has unique circumstances. For some families, rocking or feeding their baby to sleep feels natural and something they enjoy offering, while others may prioritise independent sleep.
The key takeaway is that there’s no right or wrong way to handle night waking. If your current routine works for your family and supports your baby’s development, that matters most. But suppose your baby’s waking patterns become unmanageable and are no longer sustainable. In that case, there are strategies you can try, like adjusting their daytime feeding and routine or implementing a responsive settling method.
Ultimately, “sleeping through the night” is not an immediate expectation but a gradual milestone that comes with time, development, and support from parents. Be kind to yourself as you navigate your baby’s sleep journey, and trust that it’s okay to do what works best for your family, your baby’s well-being and your own mental health too.
If you need any additional information or support please feel free to contact me at [email protected] to book a FREE 15-minute discovery call to talk about what is happening for your little one and how we can help.
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